THE ALL-HOLY VIRGIN MOTHER OF GOD THE WORD
CRIED WEEPING AND LAMENTING:
SUCH ARE THE GOOD TIDINGS OF JOY THAT GABRIEL BROUGHT ME.
GO FORTH THEN, CHILD, TO FULFILL THE SECRET COUNSEL//
AND THE DIVINE PLAN OF SALVATION!
I, THE PRODIGAL, HAVE FALLEN FROM SONSHIP.
I HAVE LIVED WITH SWINE AS A SLAVE,
EATING FOOD BELOW THEIR FARE!
TURNING FROM EVIL TO GOOD, I CRY IN REPENTANCE:
FATHER, I HAVE SINNED BEFORE HEAVEN AND BEFORE YOU!//
GRANT ME GREAT MERCY AS I RETURN.
I, THE PRODIGAL, HAVE FALLEN…
OUR GOD HAS SHOWN MARVELLOUS THINGS
IN HIS CHOSEN AND SAINTS.
REJOICE AND BE GLAD, YOU HIS SERVANTS!
HE HAS PREPARED CROWNS AND HIS KINGDOM FOR YOU!//
BUT DO NOT FORGET US, WE ENTREAT YOU!
RAISED UPON THE CROSS, O MASTER,
THROUGH THE WOOD YOU QUENCHED THE FLAME OF SIN!
SUFFERING DEATH BY YOUR OWN CHOICE,
YOU HAVE SLAIN THE ENEMY!
THEREFORE I ENTREAT YOU:
PUT TO DEATH THE DESIRES OF MY FLESH;
ENLIVEN MY MISERABLE HEART, CLEANSING ME FROM ALL DEFILEMENT
THROUGH THE FAST THAT KILLS THE PASSIONS,//
FOR YOU ARE THE MERCIFUL ONE!
We do love to keep the fire burning.
I, A PRODIGAL, CONFESS THAT I HAVE SINNED, LORD.
FROM WHERE I FELL AND HAVE NOW BECOME WRETCHED,
I DARE NOT LIFT MY EYES TO GAZE AT HEAVEN!
I HAVE SINNED BEFORE HEAVEN AND BEFORE YOU;
I AM NO LONGER WORTHY TO BE CALLED YOUR SON.
I CONDEMN MYSELF, SEEKING NEITHER DEFENDERS NOR ACCUSERS,
BECAUSE MY VERY LIFE OF WRETCHEDNESS JUDGES ME,
MY NAKEDNESS CONFIRMS THE SHAME IN WHICH I AM CLOTHED!
TENDER-HEARTED FATHER, ONLY-BEGOTTEN SON AND HOLY SPIRIT,//
RECEIVE ME IN REPENTANCE AND HAVE MERCY ON ME!
I come to a prayer like this in the Lenten Triodion and I realize that I hardly know how to repent. I hardly know how to examine my own soul, perhaps because I, a man of unclearn lips dwelling among a people of unclean lips, tend to be too rationalistic so I find it difficult to follow the analogy into my own heart.
And yet, what could be more obvious than that I have fallen such a great distance, I have wandered so long a journey, I have sinned so deep a sin and am no longer worthy to be called a son of God.
And yet…
The fathers tell us that to be aware of our sin is a gift from heaven greater than a vision of angels.
Archimandrite Sophrony
LORD, IN THIS HOLY SEASON,
BE MERCIFUL TO US!
GIVE US THE GRACE TO WEEP FROM OUR HEARTS ALWAYS BEFORE YOU,
WASHING AWAY THE POLLUTION OF OUR SOULS;
GROWING EVER MORE OBEDIENT TO YOUR COMMANDS,
THAT IN OUR FASTING WE MAY TRULY PLEASE YOU!
AT THE PRAYERS OF YOUR APOSTLES WHO BROUGHT THE WORLD SALVATION,
GRANT US ALL TO SEE YOUR HOLY PASSION!
O LORD, GLORY TO YOU!
Repentance begins when we see our sins – or at least when we begin to see them. When we discover what we are in our essence as the icon of God, when we begin to see true God in Christ, then we begin to repent for we begin to see how vast is the abyss between what we have made of ourselves and what we are. Or we pull back from the abyss of our souls and we deny ourselves the sweetness of repentance.
Open to me the gates of repentance.
HAVING UNDERTAKEN THE SPIRITUAL FAST, BRETHREN,
LET US SPEAK NO LIES WITH OUR TONGUES,
NOR GIVE EACH OTHER A CAUSE FOR SCANDAL.
BUT ILLUMINING THE LIGHT OF OUR SOULS THROUGH REPENTANCE,
LET US CRY TO CHRIST WITH TEARS://
REMIT OUR FALLS IN SIN, LOVER OF MANKIND.
RESTRAINING THE PASSIONS WITH THE BRIDLE OF PURE FASTING,
LET US ALL IN PERFECT FAITH
STRIVE TO RAISE OUR MIND TO HOLY CONTEMPLATION!
LET US DESPISE THE PLEASURES OF THIS EARTHLY LIFE,//
THAT WE MAY GAIN THE LIFE OF HEAVEN AND DIVINE ENLIGHTENMENT!
Striving in faith is the only means we are granted to “gain the life of heaven.” To strive apart from faith is to fail before beginning – to set oneself on a false path. To have faith apart from striving is to create a false path out of thin air and walk on it with no feet. If there is no striving, there is no faith. If there is faith, there is striving. One cannot believe in the promises of God and not be moved to seek them.
Let us, therefore, restrain the passions, incapable of faith as they are, and receive live for our faith and strength for our striving.
DIRECT OUR STEPS, O LORD,
AS WE SET OUT ON THE SECOND WEEK OF THE FAST.
SHINE THE SANCTIFYING LIGHT OF YOUR COMMANDMENTS ON US
AND MAKE US WORTHY TO OFFER YOU AN ACCEPTABLE PRAYER ON BENDED KNEES:
FOR YOU ARE OUR FATHER AND WE ARE THE WORK OF YOUR HANDS://
WE SING YOUR PRAISE WITH FEAR AND CALL ON YOUR NAME!
We know so very little.
WISHING TO RESTORE THE FALLEN WORLD FROM CORRUPTION,
THE LORD CAME TO DWELL IN YOUR WOMB, THEOTOKOS,
IN A WAY THAT HE ALONE UNDERSTANDS.
AND ALL OF US WHO HAVE FOUND SALVATION
CRY ALOUD TO YOU WITH THE GREETING OF THE ANGEL:
REJOICE, BLESSED AMONG ALL WOMEN,
FOR YOU HAVE BROUGHT FORTH JOY TO THE WHOLE INHABITED EARTH!
When I was a protestant, my sect remembered a few of our great leaders, but not really many and not fervently. We believed ourselves to be anti-traditional, so we didn’t spend much time looking back to them. We went straight to the Bible, believing that it was mediated to us directly from the early church (first century) and that things had badly fallen apart by 100 AD. Yet we read the English translation, especially favoring (as I still do) the beauties of the one ordained by a probably bisexual and certainly unstable King who served as head of the church and commissioned his scholars to create a text that would be the official Bible of his kingdom, thus bringing unity.
I will always love the King James Version, and I will always be grateful to those from my home and my church who taught me to love the written word of God and the living Word as well. But I am pleased to be able to remember with joy and reverence 2000 years of heroes of the faith from literally every continent and virtually every country on earth.
I digress because of this marvelous veneration of St. Theodore in today’s matins, one I would have never learned about in my sectarian days:
CROWNED AND VICTORIOUS SAINT OF GOD,
YOU NOW STAND WITH THE ANGELS BEFORE CHRIST’S JUDGMENT SEAT.
FILLED WITH THE LIGHT OF HEAVEN,
PRAY WITHOUT CEASING FOR PEACE IN THE WORLD
AND FOR OUR SALVATION, THEODORE,
AS WE CELEBRATE YOUR JOYFUL FEAST WITH TRUE DEVOTION,//
BLESSED AND GLORIFIED MARTYR!
I do not have the self-mastery or degree of illumination for that, but Oh how I do want it.
Imagine being remembered by Christ, in and by His church, for all the right reasons, for all eternity. This is the honor Christ wants to give us!
Before reading a veneration like that, it was hard to grasp what the Apostles meant when they said things like, “If you humble yourself, he will exalt you.”
Exalt indeed. Memory eternal indeed.
LET US RECEIVE THE PROCLAMATION OF LENT WITH JOY!
FOR IF OUR FOREFATHER ADAM HAD KEPT THE FAST,
WE WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN DEPRIVED OF PARADISE.
THE FRUIT WHICH KILLED US WAS BEAUTIFUL TO SEE AND GOOD TO EAT,
SO LET US NOT BE FOOLED BY OUR EYES,
FOR AFTER FOOD IS EATEN, IT IS WORTHLESS.
LET US FLEE FROM INTEMPERANCE,
SO THAT WE MAY NOT BE CONQUERED BY PASSIONS AFTER HAVING OUR FILL.
LET US SIGN OURSELVES WITH THE BLOOD OF THE ONE
WHO, FOR OUR SAKE, WAS VOLUNTARILY LED TO DEATH,
SO THAT THE DESTROYER MIGHT NOT TOUCH US.
SO WE WILL PARTAKE OF THE SACRED PASCHA OF CHRIST//
FOR THE SALVATION OF OUR SOULS.
Here is a reading of Milton’s Paradise Lost on the expulsion of Adam and Eve from Paradise on Youtube.
And earlier:
I am bowed down to the earth, O Christ,
by the burden of my sinful deeds,
and in dark discouragement I cry to You, Lover of mankind:
By Your precious blood heal the incurable wounds of my soul
that I may sing the praises of Your Divinity.I have made iniquity my food and heedlessness my drink,
and I continue without any change.
I take pleasure in abstaining from food to no purpose,
for such is not the fast the Lord has chosen.
